Contest: We gotta name this baby! Comment here or tweet with #GeekBabyName and a link to the Kickstarter (so I know you’re in the contest and not just jumping in on a fun hashtag). Winner will name this brand new character and receive a free copy of Sounds Sciency!

People really don’t talk about how terrible newborns look. My daughter popped out facing me, with a serious conehead and a grimace like an angry samurai mask. Her skin was pink and alabaster. My own little Lord Voldemort. Actually, her expression looked exactly like the baby Mandrake roots from Harry Potter. Of course, you wife will forever judge you for that first loving expression of fatherhood on your face.

Luckily I had read an EXCELLENT guide to babies written for men in the style of a boyscout manual; Be Prepared: A Practical Handbook for New Dads. I’m not a fan of most parenting books, but this one nailed it with the first two pages. Page 1, this is what your newborn won’t look like. Page 2, this is what your newborn will look like. Take a look at the preview and you’ll see what I mean.

Also: Preorder your copy of “Sounds Sciencey” on Kickstarter to learn all about pregnancy myths and dubious midwifery programs!

↓ Transcript
KATE
I can't believe they just let you walk out with one of these. No training or anything? It's just "Good luck with that tiny person!" I mean, what if we're doing it all wrong?
ROB
Speaking of which, after moving in and making a baby, would you like to go on a date sometime?

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